Appreciation: a favorable critical estimate

A random orchid photo I took a while ago.

Santy Claus was more than generous this year.

I am now the glowing and ecstatic owner of a Nikon D50, thanks to M. He gave it to me on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day, because he knew I'd want to use it (and of course he was right). He got me the kit with two lenses; I have an 18-55 lens and a 55-200 lens. Both are amazing.

I laid awake all night on Christmas Eve feeling unworthy. He is so generous and so good to me. I feel so lucky and so...moved, that there is this person in the world who loves me like this, who wants my happiness like this. And he doesn't have to love me, no one requires him to, he chooses to.

I don't know. It's all very humbling.

Has been an interesting couple days. You know those times in your life you go through when you think to yourself, my status quo is changing? It's not necessarily a huge event that sparks it off, more of a subtle noticing that you've grown up in some ways, and acknowledgement that there are still ways to grow. A recognition that things as they are now will not continue out into infinity, and both the sadness and happiness that comes along with that.

Things went unbelievably well with my brother's wife. They came to my parents' house on Christmas night, and we all exchanged gifts, and at the end of the evening she actually hugged my dad. Our collective jaws fell onto the floor and we all had to surreptitiously gather them back onto our faces quickly without her noticing. I still don't trust her any further than I can throw her, but I'm glad for my parents' sake that the evening went as well as it did. I don't know if she's faking being nice to them for my brother's sake (and we've seen how well she can act) or if it's genuine. If she's faking it, as long as she continues to fake it, that's better than the way it was before, with my brother all quarantined and my mother crying and missing him. I don't know what's changed. I don't trust it, but I'll take it. My mother calls it the Christmas miracle.

My parents and M's were also very generous to us this year. I got more stuff this Christmas than I ever have.

And yet--the stuff matters less than it ever has.

I have such a great family.

I feel so lucky.