Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Appreciation: a favorable critical estimate

A random orchid photo I took a while ago.

Santy Claus was more than generous this year.

I am now the glowing and ecstatic owner of a Nikon D50, thanks to M. He gave it to me on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day, because he knew I'd want to use it (and of course he was right). He got me the kit with two lenses; I have an 18-55 lens and a 55-200 lens. Both are amazing.

I laid awake all night on Christmas Eve feeling unworthy. He is so generous and so good to me. I feel so lucky and so...moved, that there is this person in the world who loves me like this, who wants my happiness like this. And he doesn't have to love me, no one requires him to, he chooses to.

I don't know. It's all very humbling.

Has been an interesting couple days. You know those times in your life you go through when you think to yourself, my status quo is changing? It's not necessarily a huge event that sparks it off, more of a subtle noticing that you've grown up in some ways, and acknowledgement that there are still ways to grow. A recognition that things as they are now will not continue out into infinity, and both the sadness and happiness that comes along with that.

Things went unbelievably well with my brother's wife. They came to my parents' house on Christmas night, and we all exchanged gifts, and at the end of the evening she actually hugged my dad. Our collective jaws fell onto the floor and we all had to surreptitiously gather them back onto our faces quickly without her noticing. I still don't trust her any further than I can throw her, but I'm glad for my parents' sake that the evening went as well as it did. I don't know if she's faking being nice to them for my brother's sake (and we've seen how well she can act) or if it's genuine. If she's faking it, as long as she continues to fake it, that's better than the way it was before, with my brother all quarantined and my mother crying and missing him. I don't know what's changed. I don't trust it, but I'll take it. My mother calls it the Christmas miracle.

My parents and M's were also very generous to us this year. I got more stuff this Christmas than I ever have.

And yet--the stuff matters less than it ever has.

I have such a great family.

I feel so lucky.


At December 27, 2005 10:08 AM, Blogger Hu said...

Post a picture of you new picture maker!


At December 27, 2005 10:09 AM, Blogger Hu said...

dangit, "your"

At December 27, 2005 12:28 PM, Blogger Raehan said...

I tried to comment here last night but couldn't get in.

Even a fake smile is a good start. A couple years of fake smiling and you all may wake up one day and realize your smiles have developed into something real!

So glad you had a good day together!!

I'll e-mail you about my camera questions.

At December 27, 2005 2:48 PM, Blogger Greg said...

Anything can happen during the hoildays. I'm glad you had a very good one! (I like the orchid pic.)

At December 27, 2005 3:57 PM, Blogger Tay Hota said...

i too received that same camera! I love it, but reminds me how truly inept I am in some areas.

So, have you TRIED to throw her? Maybe that would relieve some of the tension!!!

At December 27, 2005 4:30 PM, Blogger cmhl said...

yay YOU!!!!!

I was hoping for that camera as well, but apparently I need to buy it, wrap it, and present it to myself. wugh. oh well, my birthdya isn't too far off..

question for you--- why did you choose the d50 over the d70 (d70s)? reason? if there is a compelling reason, could you email me crouchingmommy at gmail dot com

At December 27, 2005 6:38 PM, Blogger M said...

Hey, everyone deserves to be loved. Right?
I was in a camera store today looking at the D50. She's gorgeous... can't wait to see what you do with it. Any plans for the old one (ie, wanna maybe sell it to me?)

At December 27, 2005 8:52 PM, Blogger Heather said...

I feel the same way. We got great gifts this year but they mattered less than ever. I am glad you had a good Christmas!

At December 27, 2005 10:26 PM, Blogger suleyman said...

Cah-mah-rah! You can paint flames on the side of it and park it outside cheerleading practice. It makes you dangerous and yet strangely intriguing all at once. The lenses are like fitting a blower on the hood and attaching a sick spoiler on the back.

Oh yeah, that flower is hot.


At December 27, 2005 11:05 PM, Blogger deputyswife said...

Ewww... I am a little jealous over the camera thing...

I got a police scanner. Now I can keep track of the Deputy 24/7. ehehehehe...

At December 28, 2005 11:51 AM, Anonymous atpanda said...

Copy cat. ;-) J/k. Congrats on the new camera! I'll definitely pass along what i learn from my class.

And that is so great about your
SIL. I'm glad she behaved yourself and didn't ruin the day. That's great J. And you've got a pretty good man there. I'm glad he took care of you!

At December 28, 2005 1:49 PM, Blogger Sangroncito said...

Lovely pic.
Feliz Ano Novo do Brasil!

At December 28, 2005 2:17 PM, Blogger Sorted Lives said...

I hope you had a nice Christmas -- the camera is the BOMB!! I am looking at getting one now!!!

At December 28, 2005 10:57 PM, Blogger BG said...

I am so happy for your happiness. The camera is great... can't wait to see the pics :)
Give M a big hug for me... that was freaking great of him :)


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