Dreams and experience

I've been having the strangest dreams. Last night I dreamed I was riding a giant (three stories tall) camel through a forest searching for beetles. I mean--what?

I was emailing Nathan about the strange dreams I have been experiencing. He noted the gap yesterday, when I couldn't remember any of them. I tried to explain to him about how when I wake up in the morning, if I'm having a dream I don't want to remember for some reason, I can turn my head a certain way and feel the dream tip out of my consciousness and go into another part of my brain. It isn't that the dream is lost when I do that--it's more like it's recycled, and I know bits of it will show up in another dream somewhere; pieces of imagery or mood will show up and I'll remember within the dream that this was part of another dream I made myself forget because it was too scary or raw or painful or even too beautiful to stand. And I thought when I was writing all that out to Nathan, boy, that's really kind of strange, that tipping my head to forget it business, so I wrote that too, but he wrote back and said he does something similar, so I feel less freakish about it and more interested in the whole phenomenon. Does anyone else do anything like that? Force yourself to forget something by taking a physical action?

I re-watched the first disc of the Haibane Renmei series last night. I love to watch something for the second time. Two times is often as frequently as I will watch or read something, but the second time, it's like adding a layer that is comprised only of filled-in gaps in my knowledge to the first layer's gaps. Like snapping legos together. It makes my experience whole. I wonder how it is that people always seem to know so much more after one read or viewing of a book or film than I seem to. I pick up on things that they miss but that apparently aren't essential to plot, or story--details. Little details. I can't see the whole picture and I often think there's something wrong with me because of that. I catch on slower.

I've been having trouble sleeping and so last night I did some yoga at about 11:30 before I went to bed, thinking it would make it easier for me to sleep. I came out of the bridge and went into the forward bend and just fell into it, into that hard, strong hamstring-calf-lower back stretch, and I stayed there for some time that time forgot, just feeling it. It felt great. But when I went to bed, I still couldn't fall asleep. Maybe tonight.

M is getting his motorcycle tomorrow. As long as the dent I put in his bumper when I borrowed his truck when I got a flat tire doesn't prevent him from using the trailer hitch, which he is concerned about. No word yet on the road patrol promotion--he said it will probably be a few weeks.

I just ate some sort of veggie wrap thing and it has given me atrociously bad breath. Be glad you are reading this and not hearing me speak it.