Saturday, April 22, 2006

Losing my 2MP mind, one pixel at a time

I bought a bag of stuff to use in an art project the other day and I can't find it *anywhere*. The stuff was not expensive and I can do the art project without it, but I can't stop thinking about where on earth I could have put that bag.

It is driving me batty.

Which isn't a far trip.

I had a fit about the camera being gone that long and called the shop back and asked them to instead clean it thoroughly, which costs $50 and takes a week. I don't know if I really scratched the sensor or if I just gunkified it; I am crossing every set of fingers and toes and praying that it's just gunkified. So it is getting cleaned. And in the meantime, I am super-lucky, because my dad has loaned me his D5o while he is away for the weekend.

I am counting my blessings. I have some models lined up to shoot today and I would have felt like and idjut backing out on them. I feel quite fortunate that they agreed to do this in the first place, because what I'm asking them to do is a wee bit complicated. With any luck, if you go to my Flickr page, I'll have a few of the shots up by the end of the weekend. It is a project I am excited about. It is also the project I lost the bag of stuff for.

Here is a picture of my brother. I laid down underneath the trampoline to take it. I can take pictures lying down :)

The shoulder...ugh, the shoulder. I have given the double-gun salute to my sling and I am boycotting it. I'm not technically supposed to be out of it until Tuesday, but for God's sake, enough! I'm into the 7th post-op week! I still can't actually lift my right arm; I can type, but only if I pick my right arm up with my left arm and set it on the keyboard. Sleeping is farking hell. I can't go more than 3 hours without waking up in a lot of pain. It makes it hard to fall asleep in the first place, when you know you're waking up to that. It's 8 a.m. right now and I've been awake for 2 1/2 hours already...and it's Saturday! I am pretty much strung out on exhaustion at this point. Delirium is a way of life, etc....Can't fold laundry or change the volume on the radio or eat properly yet. I can hold the camera, but I have to get into strange positions if I actually want to take a picture, and half the time I have to straighten it because the right side tilts down. There has been much tripodage in my life. The area of sternoclavicular separation, which was the area the surgeon did not operate on because you can't really fix it, is still just as swollen as it was on February 10th when I took the damn face-plant in the first place, which worries me some. It still hurts when I sit up or roll onto my side in bed. In addition to the plain old "take the shoulder apart and put it back together" pain. Which is not really plain, or old, at all, but instead is freshly agonizing every time. What fun!

Down with face-plants.

On the other hand, (ha ha! literally! ha ha!) I am now ambidextrous. Which, who would have guessed all the bonusey-type side effects that brings? Apparently I'm now using the side of my brain I don't usually use to do stuff. Which...makes me more creative. And as of late, is making that whole tweaking-out-on-color synesthesia thing go a little awry. I had to stop looking at Flickr yesterday because every color I saw made me all dizzy and faint. I sat and stared at my tan-colored, flat desk for a while and felt a little better. I thought that if I made a color set, it might have the effect of overloading whatever it is in my brain that causes me to feel strong emotions when my eyes look at certain colors--but that didn't really work. Instead it just kinda made me feel like I was going to yak. It's better today, so I can look at that stuff long enough to make a link, but things are still off.

O little brain of mine. I wish I could take you out and roll you around in some honey and lick you clean. And then tuck you in for some desperately-needed sleep.

This day is going to be weird.


At April 22, 2006 8:34 AM, Blogger cmhl said...

love the trampoline pic!! hope you feel better soon....

At April 22, 2006 8:57 AM, Anonymous Alison said...

I, too, love the trampoline pic.

And I hope the bad shoulder fairies leave you alone soon.

At April 22, 2006 12:29 PM, Blogger Mary said...

Trampoline pic gets a zillion 'interestingness' points from me. Love it. :) And I often wonder if the people you are photographing ever see the finished products and know/feel they're part of something really wonderful just for having been captured by your eye like that. Because just viewing them third-person is really something. Maybe that's the point - the photo becomes its own so that anyone can look at it and know/feel something. Don't mind me, I'm just rambling....

I'm glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor amid all the swelling and pain and delirium, dear. Wishing you rest.
Going to check out the latest flickr pics now.

At April 23, 2006 11:14 AM, Blogger Tay Hota said...

hate that you are still having so much trouble with that shoulder!!! will you ever ski again? and that color set makes me immediately ill as well.... i get that way after editing photos for a long time (and wih my low RAM, it's ALWAYS a long time...) ambidextrious huh? hmm, that could be very HANDy... haha, grunt...

At April 23, 2006 7:37 PM, Blogger HM said...

Oh NO, so sucky about having to wait on your camera, torture!

Isn't becoming ambidextrous fun? I broke my wrist in middle school and had to do everything with the wrong hand... I can still write abnormally well with my right hand. I remember the fun part more than the sucky part, so maybe it will be that way for you when you finally get through all this? :)

I love the pictures! "The other side of the fence" is my favorite.

And umm, riding this summer... hopefully?

At April 24, 2006 7:28 PM, Blogger Sangroncito said...

Not long ago I would never have understood your addiction to cameras and the angst of being without one. But now that I've got the "camera bug" I understand. As a matter of fact I've gotten to the point where I take it everywhere with me. You just never know what interesting thing might cross your path, and I hate that "if I only had my camera with me" feeling.

At April 25, 2006 1:09 AM, Blogger Heather said...

I love that photo! I want your arm to feel better. Now!

At April 25, 2006 9:06 PM, Blogger Jenelle said...

Well, hello then! Glad to see you still writing...I think I'm the only ree-ree who stopped anyway...Just stopping by to say a quick hi, let you know that I think about you alot! Hope that things are well .I don't have internet access right now...I'm using a work CPU now.

The internet was corrupting my brain. I'm kinda boycotting it for awhile! Hope to talk to you soon! XOXOXO

At April 26, 2006 4:16 AM, Blogger Fitèna said...

Loe it, the trampoline pic!

J*, you mentionned that vision problem before, have you consulted a doc yet about it?

What i love about you is the fact that, despite hat you're going through, you're not sitting and mopping around. Says a lot about you! Be careful still!

I love the pics you put on flicker with the girl models. Geourgous!



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