I followed a hearse to work today

So it's probably pretty obvious that my interest in blogging has come up short lately. Probably has to do with the fact that photography has taken over. Really.

I'm not calling it quits, but I am taking a hiatus. I'll still be around to visit you all. I've just got a finger in too many pies right now to blog.

Want to visit me? Come see me at Flickr.

Maybe one of these days I'll come back and post a pic of what I look like...

Like offering heroin to a junkie on credit

The camera drama...oh, the camera drama.

What I have learned about myself this week: I am mentally unstable when it comes to my camera. Ha ha! No, seriously.

Long story short, my beloved workhorse of a D50 is at Nikon getting a new sensor and will not be back for God knows how long--estimates range from 6 weeks to a couple months. I more or less lost my mind over it. I knew photography had stretched its roots deep into my soul, but I didn't know they went that deep.

I spent a lot of time this week arguing with the guy at the camera shop about getting a loaner while mine was gone--I mean, you don't pay half as much as a product is worth for a three-year warranty and not expect a little more accommodation--and he finally told me that the regional sales manager of the company said I could buy a D50 on credit, use it for 14 days (presumably during which point they'll come up with a loaner to loan me), and then return it for a full refund. Sounded risky to me but I was willing to do it. Because it is like the color and wind and movement and reason for living were gone from my life while I didn't have it. You think I'm kidding. Uh-uh.

This is a lesson in saving my pennies for a back-up.

Anyway I was telling my mother about all this, and it so happens that she knows the guy at the camera shop through mutual friends, and she told me his wife shot and killed herself last year. So I felt rotten for arguing with the poor guy about how the whole thing got so bungled (the camera was sent to Nikon without them ever telling me they were doing that--I had to call and keep pestering in order to find out). Let this also be a lesson in being kind to everyone, no matter how upset you are.

It is 6:35 a.m. on Saturday. I've been awake since four. One of these days, I swear, I am just going to fall over and not get back up. I am so far beyond tired.

One happy thing--a lens I ordered months ago from this same camera shop, and had given up hope on ever seeing it arrive, finally came in yesterday. So I have this sweet 50mm f1.8 prime to go with my "loaner-on-credit you better hope to God you don't break that thing" D50. I was playing around with it last night and the DOF at 1.8 is beyond amazing. Sadly, I can only hold the camera for 20 minutes or so before I can't stand up straight because the pain is so bad, so I think my experiments today will have to be mainly tripod-based. But I really can't complain about it too much; at least I have a camera, even if it is not mine.

I got that project I was rambling about last weekend started; you can see it here. It was great climbing around on that roof with a busted arm, let me tell ya. But the pictures came out pretty much exactly how I wanted. Pain is sometimes worth it. Both my models did a fucking awesome job.

I guess I'll go lay back down again.

Losing my 2MP mind, one pixel at a time

I bought a bag of stuff to use in an art project the other day and I can't find it *anywhere*. The stuff was not expensive and I can do the art project without it, but I can't stop thinking about where on earth I could have put that bag.

It is driving me batty.

Which isn't a far trip.

I had a fit about the camera being gone that long and called the shop back and asked them to instead clean it thoroughly, which costs $50 and takes a week. I don't know if I really scratched the sensor or if I just gunkified it; I am crossing every set of fingers and toes and praying that it's just gunkified. So it is getting cleaned. And in the meantime, I am super-lucky, because my dad has loaned me his D5o while he is away for the weekend.

I am counting my blessings. I have some models lined up to shoot today and I would have felt like and idjut backing out on them. I feel quite fortunate that they agreed to do this in the first place, because what I'm asking them to do is a wee bit complicated. With any luck, if you go to my Flickr page, I'll have a few of the shots up by the end of the weekend. It is a project I am excited about. It is also the project I lost the bag of stuff for.

Here is a picture of my brother. I laid down underneath the trampoline to take it. I can take pictures lying down :)

The shoulder...ugh, the shoulder. I have given the double-gun salute to my sling and I am boycotting it. I'm not technically supposed to be out of it until Tuesday, but for God's sake, enough! I'm into the 7th post-op week! I still can't actually lift my right arm; I can type, but only if I pick my right arm up with my left arm and set it on the keyboard. Sleeping is farking hell. I can't go more than 3 hours without waking up in a lot of pain. It makes it hard to fall asleep in the first place, when you know you're waking up to that. It's 8 a.m. right now and I've been awake for 2 1/2 hours already...and it's Saturday! I am pretty much strung out on exhaustion at this point. Delirium is a way of life, etc....Can't fold laundry or change the volume on the radio or eat properly yet. I can hold the camera, but I have to get into strange positions if I actually want to take a picture, and half the time I have to straighten it because the right side tilts down. There has been much tripodage in my life. The area of sternoclavicular separation, which was the area the surgeon did not operate on because you can't really fix it, is still just as swollen as it was on February 10th when I took the damn face-plant in the first place, which worries me some. It still hurts when I sit up or roll onto my side in bed. In addition to the plain old "take the shoulder apart and put it back together" pain. Which is not really plain, or old, at all, but instead is freshly agonizing every time. What fun!

Down with face-plants.

On the other hand, (ha ha! literally! ha ha!) I am now ambidextrous. Which, who would have guessed all the bonusey-type side effects that brings? Apparently I'm now using the side of my brain I don't usually use to do stuff. Which...makes me more creative. And as of late, is making that whole tweaking-out-on-color synesthesia thing go a little awry. I had to stop looking at Flickr yesterday because every color I saw made me all dizzy and faint. I sat and stared at my tan-colored, flat desk for a while and felt a little better. I thought that if I made a color set, it might have the effect of overloading whatever it is in my brain that causes me to feel strong emotions when my eyes look at certain colors--but that didn't really work. Instead it just kinda made me feel like I was going to yak. It's better today, so I can look at that stuff long enough to make a link, but things are still off.

O little brain of mine. I wish I could take you out and roll you around in some honey and lick you clean. And then tuck you in for some desperately-needed sleep.

This day is going to be weird.

cry

my camera will be at Nikon getting fixed for 6-8 weeks

cry

cry

Oops

I wrote a post earlier this week, but Blogger crashed while I was trying to upload it, and then my life got all busy, and long story short, I didn't get back to it.

But the big oops is that I scratched the sensor on my camera trying to clean it tonight, and now it's useless. Pretty cool, eh? It's a good thing M is the most thoughtful person on earth and when he purchased the camera for me, knowing my utter klutzitude, he also purchased a very expensive total warranty. Which means I'll be getting a new camera. Monday, I hope.

I never would have tried to clean that thing without the warranty though.

I'll tell ya what. That dust on the sensor business, that is wicked stuff.

Week and a half to go with the brace. I've been taking it off around the house and my whole arm hurts. None of those muscles have been used in five weeks, and now I have to use them again, and they hurt. Building up from nothing.

A picture I took today before I broke my camera:


Bah. Thank God for warranties.

Ugly things can be beautiful sometimes

Moods running the gamut lately...earlier I felt just awful, but now okay. Ah spring. My state of mind is as fickle as your temperatures, my anger like your tornadoes and my peace like your teasing sunshine. Wheee.

Frustrating with the arm. The silly arm. I didn't think it was going to be this bad. This big a deal for this long. Sooprise!

I see the surgeon Tuesday. We'll see what he says.

I haven't been visiting many blogs. Sitting at the computer is ok, using the mouse is ok, but typing sucks. Have to be at just the right angle and it's fleeting.

Sunny and high sixties tomorrow. That's good stuff.

M spent the weekend painting the house. He got cooked standing on the ladder with his shirt off for hours today. Silly boy. Dear little lobster. He worked so hard. I wish I could do something really nice for him. The house looks great.

Here is a random picture of a pipe, that I like.

Drive