Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Dear me, dear heart, dear world: I need drugs.

Entertaining names attached to spam emails I have gotten recently:

Pursuable I. Crescents
Trappable R. High
Entity E. Present
Constantine C. Fogy
Willamette Q. Incarnation
Witold Rudnicki
Charalampos Hutson
Foregoing U. Retraced
Beavis Charland
Jesus Howard
Spookiest E. Flunky
Inhumanely S. Captive
Histogram M. Remotest
Hannibal Flannery

Who are the people who come up with these things? Do they get paid for this job alone? They're all selling either erectile dysfunction drugs or OEM software. If the names are random words from the dictionary, what's with the unequal proportion of descriptive words? Inhumanely? Remotest? Pursuable? Oh, the perpetual and undying hilarity of it all! (I'd like to get a spam from "Undying L. Hilarity.")

Here is a picture of the sling thing I have to wear after my surgery, which is the day after tomorrow. It's been scheduled, then rescheduled, then rescheduled again. Current status: I'm to arrive at the hospital on Thursday at 9:30 a.m. This is better than what they told me last time, which was that the surgery would be at 2:30 p.m., thus increasing exponentially the likelihood of me turning into a batshit stark raving lunatic in the morning before surgery because I'm not allowed to eat after midnight on Wednesday. (Not feeding a hungry J. Star is like not feeding a hungry wolverine. It's not an indoor sport for the faint-of-heart.) This sling, to me, looks like some undersea creature that was cast onto the shores by unforgiving waves, and lies there, helpless, waiting to either be eaten or to be flung back into the nourishing waters. It hugs me like a Portuguese man-o-war clinging to a fish, wrapping its tentacles around me and straightjacketing my wounded limb out of all movement. I cannot wait until the moment I awake from a morphine-sweetened slumber on Thursday with it holding me like a lover, cradling and comforting me.

(*ahem, *thpht! Hardly!)

Here is a picture I took last night.
I don't like how shiny and almost gooey the middle part of the flower looks, but I like the rest of it. It's quite a dramatic-looking plant, with its dark-red petals with the white tips. I have no idea what it is. I bought it just to take a picture of it.

Ruby has been returned to her other foster-parent, who will be looking after her while I recover. Maybe she'll find a home while I'm under the weather.

Is anyone really over the weather? I mean, you can't really get on top of it. Short of flying in a plane. And even then.

All right, someone stop me.


At March 07, 2006 2:43 PM, Blogger Mary said...

LOL, I ask that question about 'over the weather' all the time. So true.

Thinking of you and the big surgery date ahead. Eeep, not being able to eat sucks. It could be worse, you could be 9 months pregnant and not allowed to eat before surgery, like I was - forget wolverine, I was a BEAR!

Lovely photo. I kinda like the shiny almost-gooey look to the middle - somehow I think it says something about living things and the undeniable softness at their centers.
Looks like some kind of daisy.

Hugs for you, J.

At March 07, 2006 6:37 PM, Blogger M said...

If you're on cloud 9, you're decidedly over the weather.

Oh, barf, that is another sappy ass comment.

How's the whole driving-standard thing going?
Oop, gotta go, I have a date with Charalampos...

At March 07, 2006 8:37 PM, Blogger Sorted Lives said...

I will be thinking about you baby. Keep your chin up, it will be okay. I will make sure I have plenty of dirties on Thursday to help ease your pain.

I hope you will be able to read blogs at least... I do have a doosy in the works. Take care and lots of hugs!!!!!!!!

At March 07, 2006 9:01 PM, Blogger cmhl said...

I hope everything goes extremely smoothly--- thinking of you..

I get tons of email about erectile dysfunction. go figure. that, or people wanting me to wire them money, or them wire me money, or whatever..

At March 07, 2006 10:40 PM, Blogger Heather said...

Good luck with your surgery! That sling looks like a torture device or weird and kinky sex toy to me.

At March 08, 2006 12:51 AM, Blogger Fitèna said...

"Foregoing U. Retraced" lol! I get tons of those junk mails too, only I don't see how erectyle dys. solutions are gonna help the girl that I am!

I hope everything goes well... I loved M's reminder on the board, it's good to laugh about things, it helps take the worry off a lil bit!!!

You're gonna be fine! Keep shooting, love the pic! Gooey? where?


At March 08, 2006 3:48 AM, Blogger Elemmaciltur said...

all the best for the surgery!!!

At March 08, 2006 10:07 AM, Anonymous Allan said...

Not feeding a hungry J. Star is like not feeding a hungry wolverine. It's not an indoor sport for the faint-of-heart.

We must have been separated at birth.


At March 08, 2006 4:40 PM, Blogger mg said...

I like the gooey center.

You'll be ok for the surgery... asleep in 3...2..... zzzzz

and you wake up fixed!

Ok, not "fixed" as in neutered or anything... you know what I mean.



Post a Comment

<< Home