Oh the drama!

So about a week and a half ago, I was attempting to chew gum and talk to my boss simultaneously (and there are human beings on this planet who *should not* attempt to do things simultaneously, whether they be drive and talk on a cell phone, bathe and read, cook and watch the news, or chew gum and talk, all of which might result in disasters varying in intensity from a fiery hulking wreck on the highway to a sopping copy of a beloved Cintra Wilson book to burnt filo pastry) when I managed to chomp down on the inside of my bottom lip. I somehow carried out the rest of the conversation and then sat down at my desk singing profanities in my head and sucking on my wounded bit of flesh. It hurt, and it was swollen, and it made me grumpy, but I figured that it would get better within a day or two and I could forget it.

Wrong I was.

I *cannot* stop biting my lip now. Due I suppose to the way my mouth is formed, that slight bit of bumpy flesh is constantly managing to find its way between my teeth as they gnash down on a breakfast burrito or a homemade egg roll or some leftover meeting food I happened upon in the kitchen at work. The monstrosity of disgustingness that is currently the inside of my bottom lip is fantastic for nauseating anyone I want to repel, such as anyone attempting to give me work to do, but it is not so good for doing such things as talking and eating. Each morning when I wake up, I probe the blasted thing with my tongue to see if it's recovered during the night, and it usually has, but by the time I eat breakfast, I've mangled it into horridness again.

It is the unhealable wound. it is a giant blood blister of gut-wrenching wretchedness. I fear I shall be internally disfigured for life.

And on we go.