Monday, February 06, 2006

Oh the drama!

So about a week and a half ago, I was attempting to chew gum and talk to my boss simultaneously (and there are human beings on this planet who *should not* attempt to do things simultaneously, whether they be drive and talk on a cell phone, bathe and read, cook and watch the news, or chew gum and talk, all of which might result in disasters varying in intensity from a fiery hulking wreck on the highway to a sopping copy of a beloved Cintra Wilson book to burnt filo pastry) when I managed to chomp down on the inside of my bottom lip. I somehow carried out the rest of the conversation and then sat down at my desk singing profanities in my head and sucking on my wounded bit of flesh. It hurt, and it was swollen, and it made me grumpy, but I figured that it would get better within a day or two and I could forget it.

Wrong I was.

I *cannot* stop biting my lip now. Due I suppose to the way my mouth is formed, that slight bit of bumpy flesh is constantly managing to find its way between my teeth as they gnash down on a breakfast burrito or a homemade egg roll or some leftover meeting food I happened upon in the kitchen at work. The monstrosity of disgustingness that is currently the inside of my bottom lip is fantastic for nauseating anyone I want to repel, such as anyone attempting to give me work to do, but it is not so good for doing such things as talking and eating. Each morning when I wake up, I probe the blasted thing with my tongue to see if it's recovered during the night, and it usually has, but by the time I eat breakfast, I've mangled it into horridness again.

It is the unhealable wound. it is a giant blood blister of gut-wrenching wretchedness. I fear I shall be internally disfigured for life.

And on we go.

15 Comments:

At February 06, 2006 11:22 PM, Blogger Adeline said...

i feel your pain, this has happened to me a couple times. screaming profanities is the *only* way to deal with it.

 
At February 06, 2006 11:51 PM, Blogger M said...

easy solution: lip amputation. It's the new black.

 
At February 07, 2006 12:18 AM, Blogger suleyman said...

I commonly bite my tongue with my razor sharp molars. My mouth is a crowded house. I currently have a huge boil under my tongue, so I feel your pain. It grows when I eat spicy food.

Now that everyone is intimately acquainted with my mouth, I will bid you adieu.

-Suley

 
At February 07, 2006 3:13 AM, Blogger Elemmaciltur said...

I think you should go and get something from the drugstore to put on it....before it gets any worse.

 
At February 07, 2006 6:46 AM, Blogger Allan said...

I hate when that happens. I have one of those spots as well.

And all I can tell you is that time takes time.

It will get better. You just can't force it to get better.

 
At February 07, 2006 8:10 AM, Blogger Sangroncito said...

I occasionally chomp on the inside of my cheek by accident and I know how painful that is.....

 
At February 07, 2006 2:44 PM, Blogger Sweet. said...

Isn't everyone horribly, internally disfigured for life?

 
At February 07, 2006 5:43 PM, Anonymous atpanda said...

Ewe.

 
At February 07, 2006 7:57 PM, Blogger BG said...

you are so funny. Hope your lip goes back to its normal shape soon :P

 
At February 07, 2006 8:58 PM, Blogger Hu said...

I try not to think and write code at the same time. oooo, will that dooce me? Dooce me man, dooce me. It's a fun word to say. Dooce.

 
At February 08, 2006 12:19 PM, Blogger mg said...

Pick up some Gly-oxcide and start rinsing your mouth with it. Trust me, it helped heal my tonge piercing (both times).

I can't drink & walk at the same time, I always end up coughing and therefore shooting liquid out of my nose. Not pretty.

 
At February 08, 2006 12:20 PM, Blogger mg said...

tonGUE.

tongue.

yeah.

(can't type and spell at the same time, either)

 
At February 08, 2006 4:25 PM, Blogger The Great Saphenous said...

I have the same problem with hand injuries. You scrape/cut yourself writing an email or something, and then you have to keep your hand isolated for a few days, which is impossible. Although maybe that's just because my only hand injuries seem to be partial disarticulations and tearing.

 
At February 09, 2006 1:13 AM, Blogger Raehan said...

Been there.

Ouch.

 
At February 09, 2006 11:30 AM, Blogger Jen said...

OH my god, that is the WORST. I have done that before.. i bit the inside corner of my lips.. and the bit of skin just kept getting worse by re-biting. I feel your pain. You need to numb it somehow...

 

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